ixbaby

Finally...

( labour part II )

As most of you will know I have now successfully given birth to a wonderful healthy baby boy, born at 5:46pm on Tuesday 26 September. In the event, he was born in hospital (for full story see below), but we came home by lunchtime the following day, and so far we seem to be coping okay. I haven't decided yet whether I'll be carrying this on as a baby journal, but wanted to write up a full account of the birth anyway.

The first sign that labour was on its way was a bit of a show on Sunday afternoon. For the story between then and 9am on the morning of the 26th see the last three entries in this journal - filtered to 'private' at time of writing and now made public.

( the story from that point on - part 1 )

Managed a moderately good night's sleep - waking about once an hour 'til 3, then slept solidly through 'til 5:30, at which point after a visit to the loo the contractions intensified and were coming about one every 10 minutes. They were manageable with breathing, but each one left me quite shaky afterwards. Took a couple of paracetamol, and stuck on my walkman with chillout music and thereby managed to stay in bed 'til 7:15, and am fairly sure I slept for at least some of that.

Lost the last (?) bits of show this morning, and since then the contractions have been more frequent (maybe every 5 minutes though I haven't timed them yet) but each one only lasting around 15 to 30 seconds. Am still feeling lucid in between - slightly shaky and nauseated, but coping well.

Continued to get irregular 'period-painy' contractions through the morning; then had an afternoon nap from 2:30 to 5pm. When I got up, they started getting stronger and more regular until by 9pm they were coming about 6-7 minutes apart and strong enough that I needed to start breathing through them a bit - though I was still able to follow a TV program at the same time, and I'd still characterise this as prelabour rather than first stage. Went to the loo about 10pm to find I'd lost some more of the show - this time it was noticeably thicker and with more blood in it.

When I went to see the midwife this morning, she interestingly asked me when I thought I'd go into labour and I said I thought it might be later today or tonight. I still think that seems a likely outcome - ideally I'd like to still get some sleep tonight, and then do the full giving birth thing tomorrow, although obviously it's not entirely a matter of willpower... (I suspect there's more willpower/conscious ability to influence things in there than might be expected, though...)

Have just been checking that paracetamol is okay to take at this stage and the consensus seems to be that it is (I can't find an official source confirming this, but there are various messageboards where people report being advised to do so by the hospital or midwife; and I do know that it's generally considered safe in pregnancy...). I won't take any just yet, but it'll certainly be part of my 'get some sleep' strategy if necessary.

Slept better than I might have expected given my current level of anticipation - woke at around 4am feeling slightly damp, and wondered if that meant my waters had broken, so put on a sanitary pad, but by the morning it was no wetter, so I think it was probably just a bit more of the show coming away.

This morning there was unmistakeably more show - a greater volume of 'stuff' and it was more creamy coloured with the odd streak of pinkish blood in it.

I have been having the occasional contraction but at the moment they're no more regular or painful than the slightly-crampy Braxton Hicks ones I've been getting for the last few weeks (though I think they are more frequent), so M has gone off to work as normal, and I intend to just bring the midwife up to speed at my appointment with her this morning.

I think I have just had the first signs of a 'show' - some streaks of clear jelly-like mucus when I went to the loo (quite similar in fact to the 'egg-white' cervical mucus that signifies when you're fertile). Depending on which source you look at this is a sign that labour will start 'in the next few days', 'in the next week', 'in the next two weeks', or 'in the next few weeks'

It wasn't at all blood-stained, which some sources mention, but I imagine it's possible that I've only lost the edges of it and there's a bigger middle bit to come, or something, and it wasn't clear whether it's always bloodstained or only sometimes.

I've mentioned it to M, but I think I'll keep quiet about it to everyone else for now. I'm feeling really excited now, though :)

---

Edit:
http://www.birth.com.au/class.asp?class=3&page=12#mucous
Yep, the third of those matches my description, and confirms that it isn't always bloody.

Due date has arrived, and no sign of labour as yet. 90% of me isn't surprised at at all, and 10% is waiting expectantly for things to kick off, which is leaving me slightly restless. The last thing I read on the subject online said that first babies were born on average 8 days after their due date (though it didn't give a reference for that statistic), so I'm trying to keep in mind that it could be a while yet. I've not so far had any marked 'nesting instinct' and yesterday, I had a random desire to go walking in a forest so I drove (alone) to a National Trust reserve 50 minutes away, without any sense that I was doing something risky or unwise - I just didn't 'expect' to go into labour. Having said that, I don't think I'd do the same today, although how much of that is to do with my rational brain saying 'due date' and how much is to do with anything instinctive (and how much is to do with it just being grey outside and my wanderlust being sated by yesterday...) I'm not in a position to be able to disentangle.

At my appointment with the midwife today, she confirmed that the baby's head is now fully engaged, so everything really is primed for takeoff now. I've been continuing to get the occasional cramp, but nothing remotely mistakeable for proper contractions.

The active birth session on Sunday was very good, and worth the money. Although neither of us was inclined to take on board everything she said wholesale (e.g. we are both rather sceptical about homeopathy and Bach flower remedies, which she mentioned a few times); there was a lot of other useful stuff she said which I think will come back to us at the time. One thing she suggested, which hadn't occurred to me before but makes sense, is that if contractions start in the middle of the night, it might well be worth leaving M to sleep for a while rather than waking him up straightaway - partly because it might be a false alarm, partly because I probably won't really need him for anything that early on, and partly because if it's a long labour, at least that way one of us won't be exhausted. It's also useful to be reminded again that labours can have very different characters - a labour that's slow to start may speed up dramatically or vice versa; things may seem to 'stop' for a bit before carrying on with renewed vigour; to stay motivated ideally you just need to let go of clock-time and just accept that it takes as long as it takes.

Only a week to due date, and getting into the period where labour really could start any day; though by a combination of intuition, statistics, and current physical status (head still only 3/5 engaged); I have it mentally placed as 'probably sometime between 22 and 26 September'

Still feeling extremely well, with no complications or even much in the way of niggles - the moderate heartburn I was experiencing in late 2nd/early 3rd trimester has abated significantly now that everything's moved down a bit; and although my loo-needing frequency has increased, it still only gets me up once a night.

The teacher of the Active Birth classes I've been going to offers one-to-one sessions with couples at home (£50 for a 3 hour session), to talk them through labour in more detail than is possible at the NHS antenatal classes; and particularly focusing on what the partner can expect/do to help. This seemed like a good investment to me and M, so I've arranged for her to come round tomorrow afternoon. I think (and the teacher focused on this as well) that it could be particularly helpful for M, who is currently in a position where he understands the basic technicalities of labour; and knows that I might want him to give me a massage or remind me about breathing but might also just want to be left alone but that's about it - and I can't really tell him any more because I don't know myself how I'm going to react - hopefully she can go into a bit more detail along the lines of "at this point some women act like this, and may benefit from you doing a, b, c; and others react like this, and you might want to try x, y or z". She can also be more home birth specific whereas the NHS classes were quite hospital-focused (understandably, given I was the only one in our group planning a home birth).

I think we have now bought everything we need in the way of baby equipment. Total spend was just under £450£550, which is a bit more than I would have predicted, but I don't think I've overpaid on anything (except possibly the toys, but I think that's a legitimate indulgence, and they'll hopefully be used for a lot longer than the clothes)

A full breakdown is behind the lj-cut.

( details )

Starting to get a sense of things 'clicking into place' for the final phase - I'm fairly sure the baby has started to descend (bump feels lower), and I've been having the occasional mild cramp (sometimes at the same time as a Braxton Hicks contraction and sometimes not). Chances are birth is still a few weeks away, but it's good to have a sense of things happening.

Have ordered (and this morning received) a homebirth CD from Natal Hypnotherapy, although I haven't listened to it yet, as I imagine it should be listened to uninterrupted, and I'm expecting the midwife round at some point this morning. Don't know if it'll be of any benefit, but thought it was worth a try.

5 weeks to due date.

Checkup with the midwife yesterday. Apparently my fundal height (distance from pubic bone to top of uterus) is slightly smaller than average for my dates (33cm actual vs 34cm expected) but still comfortably within the normal range - they only do further tests if it's more than 2cm out, or if the growth rate slows or stops. I am, perhaps inevitably, slightly anxious about any result that's not textbook, although given that I'm of small build myself (one of the influencing factors), it's not surprising that I might have a slightly smaller than average baby, and fundal height measurement is not the most accurate thing in the world anyway, so I'm not panicking (though I do confess to spending a chunk of yesterday afternoon googling 'fundal height' ;) ). All other measurements (baby's heartbeat and my blood pressure and blood and urine samples) were fine.

Have now bought pretty much all the baby equipment I'm after - the two main outstanding purchases are a nappy bin (of the sort that seals the nappies away so they don't stink out the room) and a pram (which I'd originally been planning to do without, going straight from a sling to a pushchair, but which both prospective grannies have persuaded me is probably worth having, because of making it easier to carry shopping and because it's easier to protect a baby from wet and cold weather in a pram than the alternatives). There's a stall in our local market on Fridays that sells secondhand pushchairs and stuff, so I'm going to wander along there tomorrow and see if they have anything suitable.

Went to an active birth class this morning which was good. The normal teacher is off on holiday for the next two weeks, so it's being taken instead by a yoga teacher with experience of ante- and post-natal yoga. The format was fairly similar to a yoga class, although slower paced - there was plenty of sitting around and talking in between the exercises which were mostly focused on breathing and pelvic positioning, as well as incorporating various positions that might be useful at different stages of labour; and also some massage and relaxation work. There was only one other participant there - a woman who was also at my antenatal classes, and who is due in a week so may or may not be there next week - which obviously made for a very cosy and relaxed atmosphere.

I think for me the main benefit will be in building up some 'bodily memories' of what various positions feel like, so that I have a wide range of things I can choose from when the time comes. That's very much the way the class is intended too - since experience of labour can vary so much from person to person, there's no attempt to be prescriptive about what you should do at each stage; rather it's an offering of various tools that you may or may not use.

My first day of maternity leave (well, officially I'm currently on holiday as I'm using up the remainder of my year's holiday first, but effectively it's maternity leave, as they run into each other). Unsurprisingly, at the moment it just feels like I'm taking some time off.

I've done a few baby-related things (did an antenatal exercise DVD, some research on car seats - the Britax First Class is the front-runner at the moment, and also making a general list of stuff to buy) and otherwise just housework, gardening, getting things in the post, with internet and TV breaks. Tomorrow, I'm going house-area-hunting to see if widening our search area lets us find a house with any chance of moving in before the baby's born, or at least getting things sorted so we can move as soon as practicable afterwards.

Feeling quite relaxed today, although I got rather antsy after speaking to my mum last week - she's still not keen on my having a home birth, and was all "but what if something goes wrong", so I went looking on homebirth.org to find stuff to inform/reassure her, but it just ended up making me think about things that could go wrong, even though I know intellectually that they're a) extremely rare b) often equally a problem whether the birth is at home or in hospital. It's irritating that human beings probability-judging mechanisms are so inaccurate sometimes.

Just a brief update.

I've only got 2 weeks left at work now - I decided to take my maternity leave from fairly early, so that I'd be at home to organise stuff if we moved house, though that's looking less likely to happen now until after the birth (still keeping options open though); and also just because it seemed like a sensible idea to have some time to myself to rest and prepare.

Still feeling well. Starting to slow down a bit with breathlessness, and with needing to sit down every so often if I'm out and about, but it's not a major inconvenience. Various people have said that being pregnant is a bit like being old, and that's certainly reflected in my behaviour. I'd now accept a seat offered to me on public transport most or all of the time, whereas previously I didn't always feel the need for one.

Have now acquired our first baby things - some handknitted jackets and hats from my Nan, and a Moses basket and baby gym thing that were offered on Freecycle. It's weird seeing them in the house - it makes the whole thing feel a bit more real, though I still don't have any kind of strong grasp on it - the enormity of it emotionally is only just starting to register, in particular the irrevocability. It's not that I'm having doubts, just that I'm realising once you embark on parenthood, unlike almost anything else, there just isn't an option to decide 'okay this isn't for me' and quit (well, obviously there's adoption in extremis, but...)

Time really has been going fast...less than 3 months to the due date now!

Kicks are now quite strong and thuddy, and there are lots of very odd sensations when (I presume) the baby is shifting position or turning over. Also been getting stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions (=painless 'practise' contractions) which also feel quite weird - like cramp in terms of the feelings of muscles involuntarily seizing up, but not uncomfortable.

Haven't bought any baby stuff yet, although I spent part of this evening on e-bay, and have now bid on a cot and a sling, as well as a pair of maternity jeans.

Most of the magazines and books seem to expect you to buy most of the baby stuff in the second trimester which I haven't done for a variety of reasons. Some of them are practical, like the fact that if we do end up moving house it'll save on moving hassle if we just get stuff sent to the new address (though the cot seemed like enough of a potential bargain to offset this), and the fact that I'll have a lot more time for doing baby-related things once I've given up work; and some of them are emotional - I think it's simply that I still haven't quite got my head around the idea that there is an actual baby on its way - buying stuff would feel like 'pretending' in a way. Plus, as I have said in previous posts, I'm keen to avoid some kind of consumerist spending splurge.

I'm not planning on a 'nursery' at all - since the baby will be sleeping in our room for the first few months at least, and won't in any case care about the decor of the room he sleeps in after that, it seems a bit unnecessary. Obviously I'll need somewhere to change nappies and keep baby clothes, but a chest of drawers will fit anywhere, and if we stay in our current house then the bathroom might well be the most sensible place to keep nappies & stuff anyway.

I have found myself, when browsing in bookshops or the library, shifting towards books on babycare (and, to a lesser extent, birth) now, rather than books on pregnancy. Haven't bought anything yet. I think I'm going to see how much use the antenatal classes are (first one is the week after next), and then decide whether I want any more practical advice. In general, I'm inclined to trust my instincts, and use the internet for backup information/advice, as that seems to have served me fairly well in pregnancy so far.

Been a while since I updated. Not much to report really - 24 weeks today, and basically just getting gradually bigger, without any problems. Some of the baby's movements can now be seen on the bump as well as felt.

Went to John Lewis yesterday and bought this sewing pattern, as I was still failing to find maternity clothes that appealed. Didn't see any fabrics that immediately grabbed me though, so I'll probably have a look in the market this week - the first thing I plan to do is a skirt in something floral and summery.

5 months completed as of yesterday. It feels like time has speeded up considerably compared to the first trimester. Can't decide how pregnant I'm looking - sometimes it seems really obvious, and I think it probably is obvious to people who knew my pre-pregnancy figure, but other times I'll mention it to someone and they'll respond as if it's new information to them, so perhaps I'm still on that 'is she pregnant or does she just have a fat tummy?' borderline, at least when I'm wearing fairly loose clothes.

The baby's movements now feel a lot more vigorous, and I can feel general moving about as well as actual prods. The diary in one of the pregnancy guides described it as feeling as if the baby was going round and round in a washing machine, and it's only this week that I understand what it meant. Someone else described it as like having an octopus inside you, which I can also identify with. If you imagine holding a balloon filled with water with a fairly large live creature swimming around inside it; then that's a pretty fair model both of what's actually happening and what it feels like.

I seem to be getting bigger virtually by the day at the moment. It's all going on in nice proportions, so I'm happy.

Still don't really know where I should get my maternity clothes from. My normal work trousers are basically unwearable now, and I tried on a pair of black maternity trousers in Mothercare at the weekend, but they didn't have any in a shorter length so I'd've had to have hemmed them, and was feeling lazy. I settled for a size 12 pair of the right length from M&S with an elasticated waist, which only cost £15, and will at least fit for the next few weeks. Perhaps I should do some more eBay browsing...I usually like to try stuff on before I buy it, but if it's cheap enough it may be worth the gamble.

Got my first mailer from the Boots Parenting Club today, and there are some fairly generous offers including a free No7 product up to the value of £16.50; a free product from the Mediterranean range up to the value of £5, and 200 points (=£2) off if you spend more than £7 on Pregnacare products.

Slightly belatedly, here are the pictures from the ultrasound scan last week.

( pictures )

So generally looking a lot more human as far as the skull shape etc. goes. I was quite amazed by the level of detail the scan was able to pick up: the four chambers of the heart, individual toes etc.

The measurements were:
Estimated weight: 328g
Head circumference: 177mm (so head diameter ~55mm)
Abdominal circumference: 148mm (so diameter ~47mm)
Femur length: 32mm