ixbaby

ixbaby @ 2006-10-31T11:50:00

2006-10-31T12:28:04Z

Finally...

I lay curled up in a duvet focused on coping with contractions, while M dashed around getting a hospital bag ready for me (I'd semi-packed one, but he didn't know that and I didn't know he didn't know, so he started from scratch)

The ambulance arrived within about 8 minutes, I think, and I walked out to it with the midwife (M would follow behind in our car). The paramedics offered me gas & air, but I said I was coping okay, at which they seemed impressed. We drove to the Lister Hospital with the sirens occasionally going to get us through roundabouts etc. quickly, gritting my teeth at the speedbumps as we drove the final few hundred metres; and again I was able to walk into the delivery suite.

They strapped on a heartbeat monitor (on an elasticated belt around my belly); as - due to the meconium - they wanted to be able to monitor the baby's heartbeat continuously rather than just at regular intervals. This restricted me to the bed, although I was still able to turn around, sit up etc.

It felt like a long time before M arrived, though I assume it wasn't more than 10 or 15 minutes. I was feeling quite a strong urge to push, but the midwife told me I should try to resist it. I tried, but it became increasingly hard, and eventually I tried the gas & air to see if that would blunt the urge a bit, and I think it helped although it didn't suppress it entirely. I rationed myself quite carefully - I'd start breathing it at the start of a contraction, and stop just after the peak of the contraction had passed; I also counted the breaths I was taking - usually it was about 10 to 12 puffs of the gas & air. This meant that I stayed quite clearheaded and aware of what was going on throughout, despite being heavily inwardly focused. The gas & air made me quite thirsty, so M's main role was refilling a cup of water and passing it to me to sip on between contractions.

Eventually, I was told that I could start pushing which was a great relief, and I stopped using the gas & air and just focused on making the most of each contraction. Unfortunately, due to the monitor, I ended up in the classic on-the-bed-half-sitting-up position which our active birth teacher had warned us wasn't very efficient for labour, but I didn't have the energy to stand or squat, and when I tried kneeling on all fours, that didn't seem to be any better.

After about an hour, the midwife said that they were concerned I wasn't progressing, so they would like to put me on a drip to strengthen my contractions. I was starting to get fairly tired by this point, so I agreed, and they wired me up. This obviously further restricted my movements, but it was very helpful - I was feeling a bit worried that the drip would send my body into a kind of out-of-control overdrive, but it really was just a bit of a boost - I could feel each contraction was longer and stronger, but it was a heightened form of the natural contraction rather than something totally other or artificial.

However, by this point the monitor showed the baby's heartbeat dropping quite steeply with each contraction - some drop is normal, but this was low enough for them to start getting concerned, so they warned me I might need a ventouse delivery (baby pulled out with a suction cap). By this point, I was starting to get really tired and frustrated, so my basic attitude was 'fine, whatever we need to get the baby out'; so they called on an obstetrician, who would perform the procedure. They put my feet up in stirrups, and he did an internal examination (which felt quite rough, and made me panic and grab the gas & air again for a bit); but then they saw the baby's head; and encouraged me to make one final effort to get the baby out without assistance; and I did!!! It was 5:46 in the afternoon.

They took him away to the resuscitaire; although I think that was just a precaution - I don't think he needed oxygen or anything; although neither M nor I was all that aware of what was going on. They'd also given me an episiotomy (cut to the vaginal opening to widen it) just before his head came out - they did tell me they were about to do it, and I just sort of nodded - I'd hoped to avoid one, but by this point I was so close to having him, I didn't really care.

A few seconds later he was put on my chest, and I burst into tears and turned to M and just kept repeating "We've got a baby!"

I've sort of lost track of the order in which things happened next, but they included a) me being stitched up b) him crying constantly until he had clothes put on him c) being brought tea & toast d) M going outside and phoning the new grandparents with the news e) me going to the loo

I still had the drip attached, and was told I'd need to keep it in until 10pm, because suddenly removing the drug from my bloodstream could cause the uterus to go into shock, so instead they needed to wind down the dose gradually. Then I was wheeled up to the ward, and after a bit M left to go home so that he could have something to eat, and bring me something to eat, as I'd missed dinner; and also so he could pick up a few things that we'd forgotten to bring. This included the camera, so when he came back, he took the first photos of the new arrival - and then went home and posted them on his lj, so our mutual friends would know the news.

Which seems like a convenient point to end this account :)

ixbaby @ 2006-09-28T20:24:00

2006-09-28T19:51:40Z

As most of you will know I have now successfully given birth to a wonderful healthy baby boy, born at 5:46pm on Tuesday 26 September. In the event, he was born in hospital (for full story see below), but we came home by lunchtime the following day, and so far we seem to be coping okay. I haven't decided yet whether I'll be carrying this on as a baby journal, but wanted to write up a full account of the birth anyway.

The first sign that labour was on its way was a bit of a show on Sunday afternoon. For the story between then and 9am on the morning of the 26th see the last three entries in this journal - filtered to 'private' at time of writing and now made public.

At about 9:30, the contractions were coming about 6-7 minutes apart, and were beginning to intensify further, so M phoned the hospital as we had been told to do and told them that I was in labour and booked for a home birth (actually it turned out that the number we had been given at first was the wrong one, but they gave him the right one). They contacted the midwife, who phoned us back and spoke to me. I said that I was coping fine so far, so she said she'd go to one other appointment first and then come round about 11, which she did.

She examined me, and found my cervix was only about 1 1/2 cm dilated (basically, it needs to get to 10cm before it's big enough to let the baby's head through; and the rule of thumb is 1cm per hour of active labour - though it varies hugely and as it happened I went a lot faster than that). The baby's heartbeat was fine, and I said I was doing okay without needing drugs for pain relief, so she said she'd leave us to carry on, and come back in a couple of hours; but to call if I felt I wasn't coping, or if my waters broke.

The contractions got quite a bit stronger after that, and I found that I could cope best if I wrapped myself up in the duvet, and leant over the sofa as each one hit. The pain was strong enough to make me whimper, but I found I could bear it because of knowing that it would only last for a short time, and then I'd have a break before the next one. By this point each contraction was lasting between a minute and a minute and a half, with 2 to 3 minutes between each one. Before I went into labour I was quite worried, knowing how long a minute can seem e.g if you're holding your breath or something, but actually because my mind was completely occupied by the contraction itself I didn't have the spare capacity to wonder 'how long am I going to have to put up with this?' - I just sort of hung on until it finished.

I found that I didn't like being touched at all during the contraction, but did find it soothing to have my back slowly stroked between contractions to sort of ground me, and clear everything down ready for the next one. I found as time went on that my cervix was becoming very tender, so that shifting position at the start of a contraction generated an intense pain, a bit like pressing on or knocking a bruise; and that something similar continued even between contractions, which was interfering with this 'rest and recover' strategy, so I took a couple of paracetamol, and lay down on my side on the sofa. The nature of the contractions shifted somewhat from a generalised cramp to more of an actual muscle seizure that was eased by pushing, and about 3 or 4 contractions after this change of style I felt a warm gush as my waters broke (unfortunately, although we had bought some plastic sheets, it hadn't occured to me to put them over the sofa for this purpose - I had been assuming they'd be laid out later once I got to second stage and things had the potential to get bloody).

I noticed the water on my pants and to a lesser extent my t-shirt looked a bit mucky, but I wasn't sure if this was due to meconium or just the last brownish bits of show; but obviously we phoned the midwife straightaway and she said she'd be there in 15 minutes, though it was actually more like 20 by the time she'd found parking.

She identified it as meconium straightaway, and although the baby's heartbeat was still strong, advised that we should go to hospital - particularly as the meconium was fresh i.e. passed in the last few hours rather than a remnant from several days ago, so could indicate that the labour was stressing the baby more than it should; so she called for an ambulance.

Sorry to leave the story at such a dramatic juncture, but I really ought to go and get some dinner. Part 2 to follow - possibly tomorrow but obviously depends how things are going

ixbaby @ 2006-09-26T08:42:00

2006-09-26T07:51:08Z

Managed a moderately good night's sleep - waking about once an hour 'til 3, then slept solidly through 'til 5:30, at which point after a visit to the loo the contractions intensified and were coming about one every 10 minutes. They were manageable with breathing, but each one left me quite shaky afterwards. Took a couple of paracetamol, and stuck on my walkman with chillout music and thereby managed to stay in bed 'til 7:15, and am fairly sure I slept for at least some of that.

Lost the last (?) bits of show this morning, and since then the contractions have been more frequent (maybe every 5 minutes though I haven't timed them yet) but each one only lasting around 15 to 30 seconds. Am still feeling lucid in between - slightly shaky and nauseated, but coping well.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-25T22:28:00

2006-09-25T22:03:51Z

Continued to get irregular 'period-painy' contractions through the morning; then had an afternoon nap from 2:30 to 5pm. When I got up, they started getting stronger and more regular until by 9pm they were coming about 6-7 minutes apart and strong enough that I needed to start breathing through them a bit - though I was still able to follow a TV program at the same time, and I'd still characterise this as prelabour rather than first stage. Went to the loo about 10pm to find I'd lost some more of the show - this time it was noticeably thicker and with more blood in it.

When I went to see the midwife this morning, she interestingly asked me when I thought I'd go into labour and I said I thought it might be later today or tonight. I still think that seems a likely outcome - ideally I'd like to still get some sleep tonight, and then do the full giving birth thing tomorrow, although obviously it's not entirely a matter of willpower... (I suspect there's more willpower/conscious ability to influence things in there than might be expected, though...)

Have just been checking that paracetamol is okay to take at this stage and the consensus seems to be that it is (I can't find an official source confirming this, but there are various messageboards where people report being advised to do so by the hospital or midwife; and I do know that it's generally considered safe in pregnancy...). I won't take any just yet, but it'll certainly be part of my 'get some sleep' strategy if necessary.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-25T07:51:00

2006-09-25T06:56:46Z

Slept better than I might have expected given my current level of anticipation - woke at around 4am feeling slightly damp, and wondered if that meant my waters had broken, so put on a sanitary pad, but by the morning it was no wetter, so I think it was probably just a bit more of the show coming away.

This morning there was unmistakeably more show - a greater volume of 'stuff' and it was more creamy coloured with the odd streak of pinkish blood in it.

I have been having the occasional contraction but at the moment they're no more regular or painful than the slightly-crampy Braxton Hicks ones I've been getting for the last few weeks (though I think they are more frequent), so M has gone off to work as normal, and I intend to just bring the midwife up to speed at my appointment with her this morning.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-24T14:44:00

2006-09-24T13:49:55Z

I think I have just had the first signs of a 'show' - some streaks of clear jelly-like mucus when I went to the loo (quite similar in fact to the 'egg-white' cervical mucus that signifies when you're fertile). Depending on which source you look at this is a sign that labour will start 'in the next few days', 'in the next week', 'in the next two weeks', or 'in the next few weeks'

It wasn't at all blood-stained, which some sources mention, but I imagine it's possible that I've only lost the edges of it and there's a bigger middle bit to come, or something, and it wasn't clear whether it's always bloodstained or only sometimes.

I've mentioned it to M, but I think I'll keep quiet about it to everyone else for now. I'm feeling really excited now, though :)

Edit:
http://www.birth.com.au/class.asp?class=3&page=12#mucous
Yep, the third of those matches my description, and confirms that it isn't always bloody.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-22T09:07:00

2006-09-22T08:22:55Z

Due date has arrived, and no sign of labour as yet. 90% of me isn't surprised at at all, and 10% is waiting expectantly for things to kick off, which is leaving me slightly restless. The last thing I read on the subject online said that first babies were born on average 8 days after their due date (though it didn't give a reference for that statistic), so I'm trying to keep in mind that it could be a while yet. I've not so far had any marked 'nesting instinct' and yesterday, I had a random desire to go walking in a forest so I drove (alone) to a National Trust reserve 50 minutes away, without any sense that I was doing something risky or unwise - I just didn't 'expect' to go into labour. Having said that, I don't think I'd do the same today, although how much of that is to do with my rational brain saying 'due date' and how much is to do with anything instinctive (and how much is to do with it just being grey outside and my wanderlust being sated by yesterday...) I'm not in a position to be able to disentangle.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-18T16:24:00

2006-09-18T15:44:23Z

At my appointment with the midwife today, she confirmed that the baby's head is now fully engaged, so everything really is primed for takeoff now. I've been continuing to get the occasional cramp, but nothing remotely mistakeable for proper contractions.

The active birth session on Sunday was very good, and worth the money. Although neither of us was inclined to take on board everything she said wholesale (e.g. we are both rather sceptical about homeopathy and Bach flower remedies, which she mentioned a few times); there was a lot of other useful stuff she said which I think will come back to us at the time. One thing she suggested, which hadn't occurred to me before but makes sense, is that if contractions start in the middle of the night, it might well be worth leaving M to sleep for a while rather than waking him up straightaway - partly because it might be a false alarm, partly because I probably won't really need him for anything that early on, and partly because if it's a long labour, at least that way one of us won't be exhausted. It's also useful to be reminded again that labours can have very different characters - a labour that's slow to start may speed up dramatically or vice versa; things may seem to 'stop' for a bit before carrying on with renewed vigour; to stay motivated ideally you just need to let go of clock-time and just accept that it takes as long as it takes.

ixbaby @ 2006-09-15T10:56:00

2006-09-15T10:18:31Z

Only a week to due date, and getting into the period where labour really could start any day; though by a combination of intuition, statistics, and current physical status (head still only 3/5 engaged); I have it mentally placed as 'probably sometime between 22 and 26 September'

Still feeling extremely well, with no complications or even much in the way of niggles - the moderate heartburn I was experiencing in late 2nd/early 3rd trimester has abated significantly now that everything's moved down a bit; and although my loo-needing frequency has increased, it still only gets me up once a night.

The teacher of the Active Birth classes I've been going to offers one-to-one sessions with couples at home (£50 for a 3 hour session), to talk them through labour in more detail than is possible at the NHS antenatal classes; and particularly focusing on what the partner can expect/do to help. This seemed like a good investment to me and M, so I've arranged for her to come round tomorrow afternoon. I think (and the teacher focused on this as well) that it could be particularly helpful for M, who is currently in a position where he understands the basic technicalities of labour; and knows that I might want him to give me a massage or remind me about breathing but might also just want to be left alone but that's about it - and I can't really tell him any more because I don't know myself how I'm going to react - hopefully she can go into a bit more detail along the lines of "at this point some women act like this, and may benefit from you doing a, b, c; and others react like this, and you might want to try x, y or z". She can also be more home birth specific whereas the NHS classes were quite hospital-focused (understandably, given I was the only one in our group planning a home birth).

ixbaby @ 2006-09-05T10:28:00

2006-09-05T09:45:53Z

I think we have now bought everything we need in the way of baby equipment. Total spend was just under ~~£450~~£550, which is a bit more than I would have predicted, but I don't think I've overpaid on anything (except possibly the toys, but I think that's a legitimate indulgence, and they'll hopefully be used for a lot longer than the clothes)

A full breakdown is behind the lj-cut.

Item	Category	New/Secondhand	Price	Source
Moses basket	Bedding	Secondhand	Free	Freecycle
Cot + Mattress	Bedding	New	£179.00	kiddicare.com
Cot bedding (2 jersey sheets, 2 flannelette sheets, 1 cotton blanket, 1 fleece blanket)	Bedding	New	£19.99	Babies R Us
Moses basket bedding (2 jersey sheets, 2 flannelette sheets, 1 cotton blanket, 1 fleece blanket)	Bedding	New	£15.99	Babies R Us
Baby bath	Changing/Bath	Secondhand	Free	Parents
Nappy bin	Changing/Bath	New	£50.00	John Lewis
Towels (2 hooded towels, 2 small towels, 2 flannels)	Changing/Bath	New	£19.99	Mothercare
Changing Bag	Changing/Bath	New	£19.99	Mothercare
Disposable nappies(pack of 56)	Changing/Bath	New	£6.99	Asda
Changing Mat	Changing/Bath	New	£5.00	kiddicare.com
Plastic bowls for cotton wool & water	Changing/Bath	New	£1.58	Wilkos
Cotton wool	Changing/Bath	New	£0.99	Wilkos
Baby wipes	Changing/Bath	New	£1.79	Boots
Knitwear (2 hats, 2 cardigans)	Clothing	New	Free	Gift from Nan
7 bodysuits (7lb size)	Clothing	New	Free	Gift from work
5 bibs	Clothing	New	Free	Gift from work
6 sleepsuits (newborn size)	Clothing	New	£8.00	Tesco
1 sleepsuit, 1 bodysuit, hat, mittens, socks, bib (newborn size)	Clothing	New	£7.00	Asda
5 vests (newborn size)	Clothing	New	£6.00	John Lewis
1 outdoor suit (0-3m size)	Clothing	Secondhand	£3.50	NCT nearly new sale
3 sleepsuits (5lb size)	Clothing	New	£2.50	Adams
1 outdoor suit (newborn size)	Clothing	Secondhand	£2.00	NCT nearly new sale
3 bodysuits (0-3m size)	Clothing	New	£1.75	Asda
4 sleepsuits (newborn size)	Clothing	Secondhand	£1.00	NCT nearly new sale
3 sleepsuits (0-3m size)	Clothing	Secondhand	£1.00	NCT nearly new sale
Rattle	Toys	New	Free	Gift from work
Squeaky Giraffe	Toys	New	Free	Gift from parents-in-law
Colours book	Toys	New	£5.00	Ottakars
Cuddly monkey	Toys	New	£9.99	Hamleys
Pram/pushchair	Transport	Secondhand	£55.00	Hitchin market
Car seat	Transport	New	£89.99	Babies R Us
Sling	Transport	New	£18.95	eBay
Baby bouncer	Other	Secondhand	£5.00	Nips & Tucks secondhand children's shop

ixbaby @ 2006-08-30T10:09:00

2006-08-30T09:20:18Z

Starting to get a sense of things 'clicking into place' for the final phase - I'm fairly sure the baby has started to descend (bump feels lower), and I've been having the occasional mild cramp (sometimes at the same time as a Braxton Hicks contraction and sometimes not). Chances are birth is still a few weeks away, but it's good to have a sense of things happening.

Have ordered (and this morning received) a homebirth CD from Natal Hypnotherapy, although I haven't listened to it yet, as I imagine it should be listened to uninterrupted, and I'm expecting the midwife round at some point this morning. Don't know if it'll be of any benefit, but thought it was worth a try.

ixbaby @ 2006-08-17T11:17:00

2006-08-17T10:57:54Z

5 weeks to due date.

Checkup with the midwife yesterday. Apparently my fundal height (distance from pubic bone to top of uterus) is slightly smaller than average for my dates (33cm actual vs 34cm expected) but still comfortably within the normal range - they only do further tests if it's more than 2cm out, or if the growth rate slows or stops. I am, perhaps inevitably, slightly anxious about any result that's not textbook, although given that I'm of small build myself (one of the influencing factors), it's not surprising that I might have a slightly smaller than average baby, and fundal height measurement is not the most accurate thing in the world anyway, so I'm not panicking (though I do confess to spending a chunk of yesterday afternoon googling 'fundal height' ;) ). All other measurements (baby's heartbeat and my blood pressure and blood and urine samples) were fine.

Have now bought pretty much all the baby equipment I'm after - the two main outstanding purchases are a nappy bin (of the sort that seals the nappies away so they don't stink out the room) and a pram (which I'd originally been planning to do without, going straight from a sling to a pushchair, but which both prospective grannies have persuaded me is probably worth having, because of making it easier to carry shopping and because it's easier to protect a baby from wet and cold weather in a pram than the alternatives). There's a stall in our local market on Fridays that sells secondhand pushchairs and stuff, so I'm going to wander along there tomorrow and see if they have anything suitable.

ixbaby @ 2006-08-03T15:15:00

2006-08-03T14:27:40Z

Went to an active birth class this morning which was good. The normal teacher is off on holiday for the next two weeks, so it's being taken instead by a yoga teacher with experience of ante- and post-natal yoga. The format was fairly similar to a yoga class, although slower paced - there was plenty of sitting around and talking in between the exercises which were mostly focused on breathing and pelvic positioning, as well as incorporating various positions that might be useful at different stages of labour; and also some massage and relaxation work. There was only one other participant there - a woman who was also at my antenatal classes, and who is due in a week so may or may not be there next week - which obviously made for a very cosy and relaxed atmosphere.

I think for me the main benefit will be in building up some 'bodily memories' of what various positions feel like, so that I have a wide range of things I can choose from when the time comes. That's very much the way the class is intended too - since experience of labour can vary so much from person to person, there's no attempt to be prescriptive about what you should do at each stage; rather it's an offering of various tools that you may or may not use.

ixbaby @ 2006-07-31T17:27:00

2006-07-31T16:50:40Z

My first day of maternity leave (well, officially I'm currently on holiday as I'm using up the remainder of my year's holiday first, but effectively it's maternity leave, as they run into each other). Unsurprisingly, at the moment it just feels like I'm taking some time off.

I've done a few baby-related things (did an antenatal exercise DVD, some research on car seats - the Britax First Class is the front-runner at the moment, and also making a general list of stuff to buy) and otherwise just housework, gardening, getting things in the post, with internet and TV breaks. Tomorrow, I'm going house-area-hunting to see if widening our search area lets us find a house with any chance of moving in before the baby's born, or at least getting things sorted so we can move as soon as practicable afterwards.

Feeling quite relaxed today, although I got rather antsy after speaking to my mum last week - she's still not keen on my having a home birth, and was all "but what if something goes wrong", so I went looking on homebirth.org to find stuff to inform/reassure her, but it just ended up making me think about things that could go wrong, even though I know intellectually that they're a) extremely rare b) often equally a problem whether the birth is at home or in hospital. It's irritating that human beings probability-judging mechanisms are so inaccurate sometimes.

ixbaby @ 2006-07-15T16:31:00

2006-07-15T15:53:40Z

Just a brief update.

I've only got 2 weeks left at work now - I decided to take my maternity leave from fairly early, so that I'd be at home to organise stuff if we moved house, though that's looking less likely to happen now until after the birth (still keeping options open though); and also just because it seemed like a sensible idea to have some time to myself to rest and prepare.

Still feeling well. Starting to slow down a bit with breathlessness, and with needing to sit down every so often if I'm out and about, but it's not a major inconvenience. Various people have said that being pregnant is a bit like being old, and that's certainly reflected in my behaviour. I'd now accept a seat offered to me on public transport most or all of the time, whereas previously I didn't always feel the need for one.

Have now acquired our first baby things - some handknitted jackets and hats from my Nan, and a Moses basket and baby gym thing that were offered on Freecycle. It's weird seeing them in the house - it makes the whole thing feel a bit more real, though I still don't have any kind of strong grasp on it - the enormity of it emotionally is only just starting to register, in particular the irrevocability. It's not that I'm having doubts, just that I'm realising once you embark on parenthood, unlike almost anything else, there just isn't an option to decide 'okay this isn't for me' and quit (well, obviously there's adoption in extremis, but...)

ixbaby @ 2006-06-24T22:48:00

2006-06-24T22:14:46Z

Time really has been going fast...less than 3 months to the due date now!

Kicks are now quite strong and thuddy, and there are lots of very odd sensations when (I presume) the baby is shifting position or turning over. Also been getting stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions (=painless 'practise' contractions) which also feel quite weird - like cramp in terms of the feelings of muscles involuntarily seizing up, but not uncomfortable.

Haven't bought any baby stuff yet, although I spent part of this evening on e-bay, and have now bid on a cot and a sling, as well as a pair of maternity jeans.

Most of the magazines and books seem to expect you to buy most of the baby stuff in the second trimester which I haven't done for a variety of reasons. Some of them are practical, like the fact that if we do end up moving house it'll save on moving hassle if we just get stuff sent to the new address (though the cot seemed like enough of a potential bargain to offset this), and the fact that I'll have a lot more time for doing baby-related things once I've given up work; and some of them are emotional - I think it's simply that I still haven't quite got my head around the idea that there is an actual baby on its way - buying stuff would feel like 'pretending' in a way. Plus, as I have said in previous posts, I'm keen to avoid some kind of consumerist spending splurge.

I'm not planning on a 'nursery' at all - since the baby will be sleeping in our room for the first few months at least, and won't in any case care about the decor of the room he sleeps in after that, it seems a bit unnecessary. Obviously I'll need somewhere to change nappies and keep baby clothes, but a chest of drawers will fit anywhere, and if we stay in our current house then the bathroom might well be the most sensible place to keep nappies & stuff anyway.

I have found myself, when browsing in bookshops or the library, shifting towards books on babycare (and, to a lesser extent, birth) now, rather than books on pregnancy. Haven't bought anything yet. I think I'm going to see how much use the antenatal classes are (first one is the week after next), and then decide whether I want any more practical advice. In general, I'm inclined to trust my instincts, and use the internet for backup information/advice, as that seems to have served me fairly well in pregnancy so far.

ixbaby @ 2006-06-04T19:07:00

2006-06-04T18:26:05Z

Been a while since I updated. Not much to report really - 24 weeks today, and basically just getting gradually bigger, without any problems. Some of the baby's movements can now be seen on the bump as well as felt.

Went to John Lewis yesterday and bought this sewing pattern, as I was still failing to find maternity clothes that appealed. Didn't see any fabrics that immediately grabbed me though, so I'll probably have a look in the market this week - the first thing I plan to do is a skirt in something floral and summery.

ixbaby @ 2006-05-19T12:19:00

2006-05-19T11:30:22Z

5 months completed as of yesterday. It feels like time has speeded up considerably compared to the first trimester. Can't decide how pregnant I'm looking - sometimes it seems really obvious, and I think it probably is obvious to people who knew my pre-pregnancy figure, but other times I'll mention it to someone and they'll respond as if it's new information to them, so perhaps I'm still on that 'is she pregnant or does she just have a fat tummy?' borderline, at least when I'm wearing fairly loose clothes.

The baby's movements now feel a lot more vigorous, and I can feel general moving about as well as actual prods. The diary in one of the pregnancy guides described it as feeling as if the baby was going round and round in a washing machine, and it's only this week that I understand what it meant. Someone else described it as like having an octopus inside you, which I can also identify with. If you imagine holding a balloon filled with water with a fairly large live creature swimming around inside it; then that's a pretty fair model both of what's actually happening and what it feels like.

ixbaby @ 2006-05-16T19:57:00

2006-05-16T19:06:52Z

I seem to be getting bigger virtually by the day at the moment. It's all going on in nice proportions, so I'm happy.

Still don't really know where I should get my maternity clothes from. My normal work trousers are basically unwearable now, and I tried on a pair of black maternity trousers in Mothercare at the weekend, but they didn't have any in a shorter length so I'd've had to have hemmed them, and was feeling lazy. I settled for a size 12 pair of the right length from M&S with an elasticated waist, which only cost £15, and will at least fit for the next few weeks. Perhaps I should do some more eBay browsing...I usually like to try stuff on before I buy it, but if it's cheap enough it may be worth the gamble.

Got my first mailer from the Boots Parenting Club today, and there are some fairly generous offers including a free No7 product up to the value of £16.50; a free product from the Mediterranean range up to the value of £5, and 200 points (=£2) off if you spend more than £7 on Pregnacare products.

ixbaby @ 2006-05-12T22:18:00

2006-05-12T21:24:23Z

Slightly belatedly, here are the pictures from the ultrasound scan last week.

So generally looking a lot more human as far as the skull shape etc. goes. I was quite amazed by the level of detail the scan was able to pick up: the four chambers of the heart, individual toes etc.

The measurements were:
Estimated weight: 328g
Head circumference: 177mm (so head diameter ~55mm)
Abdominal circumference: 148mm (so diameter ~47mm)
Femur length: 32mm

ixbaby @ 2006-05-09T18:03:00

2006-05-09T17:18:38Z

I have a very definite Bump now. It's fairly compact, but quite prominent - very round and firm. It's still quite low, with the most sticky-out point an inch or so below my navel, but it's rising fast - I've not entirely lost my waistline yet, but it won't be long before I do.

Starting to need to wee more frequently, which I thought wasn't supposed to happen until the third trimester, but it's not a urine-infection sort of urgency, and I don't have any other symptoms of one, so I assume it's just to do with my particular uterus and bladder positions. At the moment, it's not frequent enough to be a problem (about every 2 hours during the day which is about twice as often as normal for me, and once during the night) so I'm just hoping that it doesn't presage dashing to the loo every 20 minutes in the final months.

ixbaby @ 2006-05-05T19:07:00

2006-05-05T18:31:13Z

Scan today showed everything normal, with the baby's measurements almost absurdly on target for dates (like, not just within the normal limits, but dead on the exact average for all four of them).

We also know the sex

It's a boy :)

I am now thinking of reasons why this is good, though had it gone the other way I'm sure I'd be doing the same about that sex.

It's odd in a way, I'm kind of used to the idea now that I will be having a baby, but until now, I was thinking of it as essentially genderless. Knowing the sex suddenly collapses the options in an inevitable and not a bad way: of all the millions of possible babies I could be having, I now know it will be this sort, rather than that sort; out of generality, the first particulars are emerging. It also cuts the number of names we have to think of in half :)

Yesterday I bought a copy of What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing, and I'm finding it very interesting reading. Not only from a future-mother point of view (though it's interesting for that - the difference between mothering work and other sorts of work is particularly interesting, the sort of thing that's obvious when it's pointed out, but I'd never really articulated before), but there's also some thought-provoking stuff about the defensiveness that arises when you make one choice, and see others making a different choice, particularly if they seem happier and more successful; and how people sometimes seem to need to justify their own negative emotions by claiming that everyone feels like they do and those that say they don't must either be putting up a front or in denial. When I've finished it, I may make a more general post on these points in my main journal.

ixbaby @ 2006-05-02T22:51:00

2006-05-02T21:54:09Z

M (my husband) was able to feel the baby kick for the first time this evening. The movements are definitely getting more vigorous, although I've no doubt they've got a lot further to go.

I've been having some other mild pregnancy symptoms (heartburn, itchy skin) but nothing that's really a problem.

My belly button hasn't popped out yet, but it's certainly on its way out.

ixbaby @ 2006-04-30T19:58:00

2006-04-30T19:08:49Z

If my appetite is anything to go by, I will soon start gaining my pregnancy weight. I have just spent the last half hour eating peanut butter out of the jar whilst watching the episode of Desparate Midwives that I videoed earlier in the week.

I'm feeling increasingly confident about the pregnancy, which has shown itself in an increased willingness to talk about it, both to friends and to strangers (I mean, like when I'm talking to an estate agent, or someone new I've met at a party - I'm not going up to people in the street and saying "I'm pregnant"!). I still have the occasional moment of "OMG what if it's all gone terribly wrong", but it feels (rightly) like a far more remote possibility than earlier on.

My second ultrasound scan is Friday afternoon, which I'm very much looking forward to - just to see how much it's grown and developed since the last one.

ixbaby @ 2006-04-24T18:14:00

2006-04-24T17:21:31Z

The movements are becoming more frequent, stronger, and more distinct, and hence I'm feeling more certain that they are baby movements and not just digestive rumbles etc. They feel slightly like a muscle twitch, and slightly like what they (presumably) are, which is a gentle prod from inside. They're still quite low down - more pelvic than abdominal.

I'm starting to get a more distinct bump now, rather than just a podgy tummy, though it's only really visible as such when it's bare or when I'm wearing something quite clingy - in most clothes I still just look like I've put on a bit of weight. I think I'll only be able to get away with safety-pinned trousers for another week or so, though, as the shape-changing is definitely accelerating.

A phrase that's been going round in my head recently is 'grow your own person'. I can't quite get my head around the idea that new people are just created like this - that as a result of my (and my husband's) actions, a completely new human being will exist in the world who wouldn't have existed otherwise.